1 despot has a new arsenal of objectively measurable statistics: launching the biggest conventional military attack (330,000 troops) to trigger the largest land war in Europe (230,000 square miles) since World War II. In 2022, decades after Guinness verified that the Soviet military launched the first rats into outer space in 1960, Russia’s No. Thanks to Putin’s ambition to make his regime first in everything, Guinness World Records last year certified that Russians choreographed the most folks ever to stand on a bed of nails (151) whipped up the largest slab of coagulated milk (2,153 pounds), and clocked the fastest time for someone to dress in a clown costume (30.7 seconds). “This is unique,” the Russian president recently told a group of enthusiastic youngsters as he unveiled the 460-foot tall Sun of Moscow ferris wheel (16 feet higher than the London Eye). It’s a new school year in Russia and the kids are learning the darndest things about the achievements of Vladimir Putin.
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